Human beings have evolved to be social creatures. In fact, it’s this social nature that has kept our species alive for millennia.

Today, our social instincts must ride to the rescue once more. This time, the threats are not predators or enemy tribes, but a deteriorating ecosystem and billions of rightfully angry disadvantaged people feeling its effects. 

We will need all our social cooperation prowess to build a sustainable and just society over the 21st century. And it all starts with making each other feel good 🙂

Bucket filling

The bucket analogy is a great tool for improving any relationship. It states that each of us has an emotional bucket and dipper. If our buckets are filled, we feel great. If they’re emptied, less so. 

Our mission is simply to add at least a few drops to the other person’s bucket in every interaction. And the best thing is that filling another bucket also fills our own. 

To make this more tangible, here are three posts delving a little deeper into bucket filling and bucket dipping. 

• 9 great ways to fill a bucket. Smile, add humor, compliment, praise, give, express gratitude, listen, show interest, and validate. 
• 7 great ways to empty a bucket. Sulk, scream, belittle, neglect, forget, gossip, and destructively criticize. 
• The art of constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is essential for personal and professional growth. Learning how to give and take it without bucket dipping is a crucial life skill. 

Personal relationships

The most direct application of bucket filling is in our close personal relationships. Although such relationships no longer have much direct practical value, they are essential for our health and happiness. 

Here are some tips for maintaining sound personal relationships:

• Be sure to prioritize quality over quantity. You can get all the benefits from only a few great relationships. Poor relationships harm health and happiness, while average relationships dilute life. 
• Know a quality relationship when you see one. Do you feel good when thinking of the other person? Do you experience joy when they’re happy and discomfort when they’re sad? Do you trust them completely? Three yesses mean you should treasure that relationship!
• Three keys to smooth relationships: Fill buckets (even if you don’t feel like it) and refuse to empty buckets (even if they deserve it). Avoid getting defensive to keep arguments rare and undramatic. Respect each other’s time to allow space for the rest of life. 

Professional relationships

Getting important things done in today’s complex world requires multidisciplinary teams. And such teams are built on sound professional relationships. 

Good professional relationships arise from the following four steps:

1. Establish “win-win more” relationships. When gathering collaborators for your initiative, try to ensure that they get even more from the deal than you. 
2. Collaborate like true pros. Be open to feedback – both the constructive and destructive kinds. Make sure your communication is crystal clear (misunderstandings happen all too easily). 
3. Take pride in being the dumbest person in the room. Learn from experts by offering to do all the work in return for their guidance. Get a mentor team, either by reading works from best-selling non-fiction authors or by getting real-life mentors. 
4. Find your networking style. If you’re a natural networker, you could make a career out of bringing the right people together. If not, rather build close relationships with one or two natural networkers and focus more on online networking. 

But no discussion on relationships would be complete without the glue that holds it all together:

Communication

Most people equate more communication with more talking. This is a serious fallacy. In fact, body language and voice tone are much more important.

If these two key communication elements are not in place, your words quickly become worthless or even harmful. These three posts explored the art of communication in more detail: 

1. Body language: the core of communication. The most important body language signals are those conveying an open or closed attitude. Learning how to unravel defensiveness through open body language can make you a much better communicator. 
2. Voice tone: more than words. A deep and engaging voice tone is the emotional glue that makes your words stick. Conscious control of voice tone can also help to keep negative emotions from ruining your communication.   
3. Words: less is more. If you want people to like you and/or take your message to heart, use fewer words, not more. Try to concentrate as much goodness and insight into as few words as possible. 

Team Human faces many intimidating challenges today. We’ll need heaps of bucket filling, emotional nourishment, effective collaboration, and true communication to emerge victorious.