bucket dipping

The world can certainly do with plenty more bucket filling. But it can also do with a lot less bucket dipping. 

Today’s post lists several all-too-common ways in which we routinely dip from each other’s emotional buckets. 

Sulking

This is the most common form of passive-aggressive behavior and a very effective way to dip from other people’s buckets. 

Don’t do it. It’s never the best solution. 

Honestly tell the other person how you feel or, if you’re not sure how you feel yourself, take some time alone to meditate on the subject. 

Screaming

On the other side of the spectrum, we find overly aggressive behavior. 

In between passive-aggressive and overly aggressive lies controlled assertiveness. That’s the place to be. 

Belittling

Making others feel small is a great way to empty their buckets. There are many ways in which we do this to each other:

• Ignoring or not paying attention to the other person
• Bluntly overruling them without explanation
• Trivializing their accomplishments or feelings
• Repeatedly bringing up their failures or embarrassments
• Impatience when they struggle with something that’s easy for you

Neglect

There are also instances where we can dip from buckets through inaction. These ones can be really hard to get right, but they remain important. 

In a close relationship, neglecting someone or taking them for granted can gradually drain their bucket and ultimately ruin the relationship. 

Forgetting

Forgetting special occasions or not noticing something good about the other person is another way of dipping through inaction. 

Make sure to put birthdays and other special occasions in your calendar and be fully present in every interaction to notice important stuff. 

Gossip

Spreading negative stories behind another person’s back may not hurt them directly, but it diminishes them in the eyes of your listeners. 

Gossip therefore lets other people do the bucket dipping for you. 

Criticism

A constant barrage of biting critique is a great way to drain another person’s bucket.

If you ever find yourself criticizing with the aim of bringing the other person down, you’re on the wrong track. 

But there are times when some constructive criticism is the best thing you can do for someone else. Getting this right is tough. So tough, in fact, that we’ll dedicate tomorrow’s post just to this.